It is your wedding, so make it you own. You are probably hunting for every book, articles, and tips you can find on how to personalize your wedding vows. The best and more memorable way to do is to create your own wedding vows.
Traditionally, the bride and groom has little say in what goes into the words spoken during the wedding ceremony. Today, wedding officiants even encourage couples to say their own wedding vows during the ceremony. It reduces the mechanics and strays away from the “wedding ceremony formula” we have been too acquainted with.
Heck, if you attended ten wedding already, you are likely to be able to recite the “standard vows” the bride and the groom say to each other.
So, if you want to make your wedding vows unique and personal, you can incorporate your feelings and intimate messages into you wedding vows. It creates an added effect in making you wedding more memorable. Here are five tips to help you create a wedding vow that could make your wedding memorable for you and your guests.
We are going to show you how to personalize your wedding ceremony with your own wedding vows.
The freedom of creating your own vows comes at a price; you have to work at it. Although writing your own personalized wedding vows can be a difficult and rewarding, there are many things you can do to make the process easier.
First of all, you should make sure that you and your groom are in agreement on having personalized vows. If you are planning to personalize your wedding vows, you need to notify your Wedding Officiant first. You will need to find out the legalities, guidelines, and rules in drafting your wedding vows.
In fact, by discussing with your Wedding Officiant ahead of time, you can get additional pointers, advice, and examples to help you in writing your vows. The Officiant will also inform you of the important information that needs to be included in your vows.
As in any other writing or speeches you make, you need to establish a topic before you start drafting. Some may disagree with me, but by choosing topic early on will help you stay focused on your wedding vows.
The wording should be in line with the style of the ceremony, and it is going to be different for a traditional ceremony than a modern ceremony. If you elected to have a religious ceremony, you may be required to include certain phrases. You and your groom may write the same vows or work on different vows on your own.
Remember from your term paper writing days? Brainstorming may be the best approach to start? Write down the words and thoughts you must have in your vows. I
f you encounter writer’s block, you may read several traditional vows to look for ideas. You can start by swapping out some of the words with words you feel more comfortable with.
One thing you must never neglect to include in your vow is your promise to your spouse to be.
Then you can add some special messages, hopes, and dreams that the two of you may have talked about before you decided you wanted to get married with each other.
Write down what kind of commitment marriage means to you. Try to put your thoughts into words. Don’t worry about grammar and spelling at this point. The goal is to try to be creative. Some of the questions you could ask yourself in the process are:
- What are my expectations of my partner?
- What are the qualities that are important to me?
- What it means to be committed to one another?
- What does marriage mean to me?
After you finished the first draft of your wedding vows, arrange a meeting with your Wedding Officiant again. Show your vows for review and additional advice.
Your Officiant’s experience will help you greatly in showing you how to personalize your wedding vows.
Of course, the you will get the last word on what goes into your wedding vows but it does not hurt to ask for opinion. Then, be prepared to rewrite. Some of the best writers are famous for writing and rewriting their best work dozens of times.
Rewriting is not a sign of failure; it is a sign of perfection.
One thing to keep in mind when writing your wedding vow is KISS – Keep It Short and Sweet. When pouring you heart out, you tend to get so emotional that it is difficult to cut it short. Try to put yourself in your guests shoes. When listening to a very long winded speech, you (as the attendee) will start to wander off. So, if possible, keep your wedding vows, short, concise, and meaningful.
As you would when you prepare for the speech you wrote for a meeting, you practice, practice, and practice. You know it, practice makes your delivery perfect. Even if you plan to read your wedding vows during the ceremony, I highly recommend you practice.
You need to get comfortable saying your vows aloud so that you would not sound clumsy when you read it during your wedding ceremony. Just remember the rule of thumb, KISS. Lengthy speeches are less likely to make an impact and therefore will be less remembered. So, time yourself as you practice.
If reading your vows will take longer than five minutes, try to narrow it down and focus on the more important part of your wedding vow.
Remember that your wedding ceremony is also a performance, so you must practice your vows with your groom. Once you hear it, you may have a different opinion on the words you have used. Practicing provides you with an opportunity to make final adjustments.
Once you’ve worked out a final version, practice reading it on your own, and try to memorize it.
Finally, I know that this is hard to do, but it is important to keep calm when you are reciting your wedding vows during the wedding.
If you are tense, you are likely going to speak too fast that your vow will lose the wedding attendants’ attention. Read your vow if you must, but it is best if wedding vow is delivered extemporaneously. But, do what you are comfortable the most. If you are comfortable with memorizing a speech, then memorize your vow.